Saturday, April 11, 2020
April 11, 2020
It hit me. I guess I've kind of been in shock. About ten times today I wanted to scream. I hadn't felt vibratey like that for about a year. I almost called Dr. E, but then I could imagine her saying, "Nori, how great to hear from you. How can I help you?" And then I'd be back at square one. Back in her office. Back feeling like an angry loser with acne and an attitude. I don't need to talk about my feelings. I don't need to embrace my discomfort with the unknown. I'm just lonely. There, I said it.
I ended up going for a walk down the road. Then I came back and found a picture on Instagram that spoke to me. I knew how this guy felt. I sat quietly for a couple hours drawing him. I couldn't think of what to put on the page behind him. So, I imported him to Procreate and played with colour.
While I was drawing on the iPad, I realized I was having a good time. I wasn't vibrating anymore. I wasn't even in a bad mood. And, I wasn't lonely.