Sunday, April 19, 2020

National Garlic Day

April 19

I'm such a loser, I celebrated National Garlic Day today.  I've reached a new low.
To further expound on my pathetic life, I will list my three top garlic memories in honour of the clove.

1.  I remember having an argument with Jacob at the cottage and he was so angry I thought he was going to slug me.  His face was red and his neck got blotchy.  He said, "Come here".  I followed him to the kitchen.  He opened the fridge took out the jar of minced garlic, and grabbed a spoon.  He scooped some out, stuck it in his mouth, and mushed it around.  Then he grabbed my shoulders and went "AHHHHHHHHHH"  and breathed in my face like some Italian dragon.  I fell on the floor laughing.  I can't remember what we were fighting about, but it was quickly resolved. 

2.  Roasted garlic used to give Grandma Kay gas.  Once, after a particularly delicious caesar salad, she turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I've trained my farts to go in the corner."

3.  Simon and Cheri were cooking supper together one weekend.  Cheri was slowly chopping garlic cloves, and Simon grabbed the knife and said, "That's not how you do it. Watch me."  He went to smash the clove with the side of the knife, but it slipped and went flying through the air and stuck RIGHT to his forehead.  We held back our laughter, but he was furious.  He took that knife and flung it down with all his force. It stuck upright into the floor with a boyoyoyoyoing.   We froze.  That was the night of the big fight and when CFS told me I was going to move again.

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